Self-honesty- An Uncomfortable Conversation with Yourself

Self-honesty is not the same as self-criticism. Psychologists make a precise distinction between the two and the difference determines whether reflection heals or harms.

There is a habit many high-achieving women mistake for self-awareness. It involves reviewing your performance with extraordinary rigour, cataloguing your shortcomings in detail, and holding yourself to standards that would feel cruel if applied to anyone else. It is relentless, it is thorough, and it is generally experienced as a form of discipline. The research suggests it is something else entirely.

Self-criticism — the harsh, punishing internal dialogue that many women in demanding roles have carried for so long it feels like character — is not the same as self-honesty. Psychologists working in this field are specific about this distinction, because confusing the two has real consequences.